Jump The Gun
Man, everytime I think it’s all over and the sun won’t rise for another few months, I open my eyes to find the same familiar glare burning through my retinas. Tricking myself into uncertainty when I used to have faith that the world would keep on spinning. I’ve got a bead on you now, I hope, and my finger shouldn’t twitch and pull unless I’m ready. 
(via ultimatebeauties)
Ruinous Flaw
I am so very tired of being me right now. I shall go to sleep, this moment, and when I wake, still here I shall be. I’ve ruined myself one time too many. Made flaws in my plans for happiness. I have lost something special maybe, but I’d hardly the time to appraise it fully. I hate that I want more than I can have. I am greedy and discontent. I am honest and a fool. I fear the unknown and desire the new. I am despicable, disgusting and disguised from those who would be aware. I felt, love, lost it, and seek to find it again in a ravaged place, in favor of the place beyond my known reach. I hate this pain and do not yet know how to comprehend it. It is incomplete within me, my actions and my desires halted in the name of some great honor and design I should cherish and treasure. I loved her. Beautiful and tempestuous, unrelenting force against my wobbling resolve. Pushing me to greater heights as I burnt the wick of our romance higher and higher. Violent thrashing in a still container was my soul, and it was so close to finding its place. Divine intervention in the most painful, pragmatic process came crashing down on me to decide the choice I’d put aside for so long. I loved her and I let her go. The future is not lost, but I despair at what might never be. |
